Advice for boyfriend who thinks girlfriend is cheating

Your Concern:

Dear Jerry

I am worried about my girlfriend. She has recently joined a gym and bought lots of gym clothes. She talks a lot about her gym instructor and she has been coming home very late at night. She is starting to lose weight and looks better than she has in years. When I ask her about why she is coming home so late at night she gets very angry and says terrible things to me. She has been very rude and said a lot of things to hurt me. When I ask her if anything is going on with her instructor she goes crazy. I have never seen her like this. Is she fooling around? What should I do?

Jake

Jerry’s Response:

Whether or not she is “fooling around”, her recent rudeness suggests that there is a significant issue in your relationship. You have had the strength to approach her with your fears and you are to be commended for trying to deal with your concerns openly. Sometimes, though, a couple will need help from others to work through relationship issues and if your girlfriend is unwilling to talk with you, perhaps it is time to think of getting professional relationship help. Rather than approaching her directly again about her actions – as this might make her defensive and lead to more rude behaviour – I would recommend telling her how you feel for her, that you love her and that you want her to be happy. Once you have told her how much you love her, she might be in a more receptive place where you can mention possibilities for outside help.

Not knowing can be a terrible burden in itself. I hope you find some peace.

Jerry